Monday, April 19, 2010

Cooking 101

I've learned one very important lesson over the years. Before you start to cook (or bake), take a look at the ingredient list and compare it to what you have on hand. If you do not have everything (or an acceptable substitute), you will need to make a trip to the store... preferably before you start mixing things together.

This is not what occurred in my kitchen today. No, my mother who rarely ever cooks anything that requires more than opening a box and placing a container in the microwave, decided to make this apple/egg/bread casserole thing. I'd just finished making banana muffins and was cleaning up and suggested she might want to think about making her casserole soon since the bread's been cut up for nearly a week and sitting in a bag on the counter. I'd already tossed one loaf that was originally intended for this casserole (it was moldy). Anyhoo, she decides to do it "right now" and starts mixing things up. Non-moldy bread? Check - whew. Eggs? 1 more than needed. (An aside here, she wanted to toss in the extra egg too. Not sure why - maybe she thought the one would get lonely in the fridge?) Apples? Hmm, only two. So I offered up my bag of organic apples. Milk? Nope. None. Uh, she's the only one here who uses cow's milk so it's not like I used it up and she didn't know she hasn't had any for days. I couldn't save the day here. Since I'm heading back out of town in a couple days, I've been trying to use up my stuff so it doesn't go bad and didn't have enough soy milk on hand for her recipe.

Now, I'm not saying I've never done this. I totally have. haha It happens. I either figure out a substitute or make a quick run to the store for that missing item. I do not get all pissy with the other person in the room, as if it's their fault I didn't plan ahead and they can't supply what I need. Nor do I mope around the house afterward as though the world is against me. I also do not profess to never bother trying to cook again because this always happens. Instead of going to buy milk at one of the five stores withing a mile of this house, she slammed things around, threw the egg mixture in the fridge and set herself up in front of the television set for the day. All over a 10-minute trip to the store? Sheesh. I don't get it.

Oh, about 20-minutes later she was back in the kitchen and I hear her pouring a bowl of cereal. I'm thinking... she doesn't have any milk. Yeah, she figured that out after once again looking in the fridge, started swearing and slamming things around again.

Prior to this, she'd been outside watering plants and decided to get a piece of wood to hold open a window in the house and came in cursing about having things she can't get to to use. Even though there are tons of pieces of scrap wood accessible, she wanted to use her saw... that she has several feet of crap piled in front of. Yes, I'm once again getting the blame for this... even though everything in the garage other than my Jeep and bike (neither of which is in her way) belongs to her. I also got blamed for the rotten strawberries I'd put in the produce drawer (and told her I'd placed them there) because she forgot about them. I was making room for something she wanted to put in the fridge. And the rotten tomatoes too. She'd bought those, told me I could use some if I wanted, then never used them herself. How is this stuff my fault??

Any wonder I can't wait to move?! Or at least get back out on the road for awhile!


  1. hmm. Maybe your mom and my boss should get together...

  2. lol And see who comes out alive? I didn't mention that she decided to wash her hands after using the restroom... in my clean dish water! I drained it and started over and she washed her hands in it again after playing in the dirt... and used the dish sponge to scrub away the dirt. Urgh! I suppose I should just be happy she washed her hands at all since that rarely actually happens. I just have to say, this woman must have an amazing immune system!

  3. Maybe she's going through 'the change'? Maybe needs some hormonal balancing. I'm over in the SW subs of Chicago. You can come on over if ya need a break!! : )

  4. haha No, she went throgh the change years ago. She was a really cook cook at one time, but I thik it's been so many decades since she actually cooked anything with more than three ingredients, she can no loner cope. I do however firmly believe she could benefit from some pharmaceutical intervention, but that would mean she'd have to admit she has an issue...

  5. Oh my... do I feel for you. I see many of the same issues in my mom and just move out after living with her for over a year.... Well, if you are traveling along I-80 come visit us. :)